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June 2007
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Your Authentic Life!
..Because Joy is an Inside Job
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Greetings,
My apologies for not getting a May newsletter
out to you! I have been busy getting lots of
folks up and running on my new 4 week STRESS
RELIEF program and the month just flew
by!
This month's issue focuses on
Peak Performance
What helps
you to do your best?
Want tips on how to
become a high performance
mom or dad?
Plus...A great little Father's
Day gift idea!
Also in this
issue....Consider making your
own Divination
Deck
If you or someone you know is ...
"perfectly exhausted from trying to be
perfect"
Consider This:
" Everyone has inside
of him a piece of good news. The good news is
that you don't know how great you can be! How
much you can love! What you can accomplish!
And what your potential is! "
--Anne Frank
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Does Pressure to Perform Stress You Out? |
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Laurie Stolmaker, MA MFT
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Tips on doing your best
Golf, Tennis, Music, Dance...
The things we love to do can turn into
stressors when we get anxious about our
performance.
What do you do when you need to prepare to do
well at your art or your sport?
Knowing how to relax and get into the zone is
a key skill used by top professionals. Here
are some tips on how to keep from "psyching
yourself out" at that crucial moment:
- Remember that we all do better when we
feel better
- Picture yourself completing the task well
and really feel it happening
- Speak words of encouragement to yourself,
silently or out loud
- Look for the progress and point it out to
yourself
- Be realistic about your expectations,
while still having goals to improve
- Let it be OK to have fun doing something
without needing to be the best
A lot of what it takes to relax and perform
is practice. The more you practice the skills
you need and see yourself succeeding in your
mind's eye and feel that thrill of
accomplishment the easier it will be to
perform at your peak.
The other important
component is stress management. When you are
stressed you don't think clearly because your
system is geared up to fight or flee.
Learning to manage stress in the moment makes
you clear, calm and creative!
If you are a
passionate golfer, you can appreciate the
pleasurable feeling associated with playing
at the peak of your game. Emotional blowups
or meltdowns, on the other hand can quickly
override and undo the results of your many
hours of practice.
If you know a golfer who could use a little
inspiration, I recommend the book, Managing
Emotions: Golf's Next Frontier.
To
purchase this book in time for
Father's Day give me a call today at 707
523-2033
and I will get it right out to
you!
At just 9.95 plus tax and
shipping, it makes a great little gift for
all the golfing dad's in your life.
This book
is also a great introduction to the
individualized
stress program that I offer. To enroll in a
4-6 week program give me a call
today.
Remember
My Free Introductory
Stress Seminar is
Tuesday, June 13th,
6 -7:30PM.
Call Today to reserve a
spot!
You could be just 4 weeks away from a stress free
day!
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High Performance Parenting |
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Laurie Stolmaker, MA, MFT
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Building Your Parenting Tool Box
Being a great parent isn't a peak performance
that you get
much appreciation for a lot of the time! As a
parent of a teen and a 21 year old, I can say
that having a great tool box has made
parenting more rewarding! I know I have done
my best and can continue to be encouraging as
my kids move into adulthood.
Would you like to improve your performance as
a parent? Here are a few tips from my
article:
20 TOOLS FOR BUILDING EFFECTIVE RELATIONSHIPS
- Instead of saying what you don't want,
politely request the behavior you DO desire.
- Take time for training! Teach the skills
needed to get the behavior you
desire--remember to do this one step at a
time.
- Try an "I statement" to express your
feelings in a positive way.
- Use your sense of humor--maybe a laugh
would break the tension!
- Utilize What, Why and How questions that
avoid blame and shame.
- Redirect the child's NEED to a different,
more acceptable activity.
- Structure reasonable, respectful, and
related logical consequences with the child
BEFORE the misbehavior occurs, if possible.
- Plan ahead. Hold a family meeting.
For a complete list of tips, read my article:
20 Tips For Building Effective Relationships
with Kids
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Make Your Own Oracle Deck Workshop in July |
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Consult the Cards with Your Best Answers
What is different about making your own
oracle deck?
To get a useful Tarot
reading, it
is best to be very learned about the deck or
consult a skilled reader.
With this system you create
your own personal symbology to work from.
When you make a deck for yourself, you
make
cards that have personal meaning from your
life experiences, personal guides, and areas
of dedication in your
life. You gain deep insights, because you
know the stories intimately.
In this one
day workshop you will begin to construct
meaningful and valuable lessons that you will
draw on again and again.
Recently, I consulted my deck before having
dinner with an old friend. We had been
estranged for two years. I wanted to have
guidance on how best to approach the meeting-
to be clear, not stuck in hurt. I pulled the
card that represented my son's birth. I had a
strong memory of my friend at my side for the
whole birth, caring for me physically,
selfless and present. It brought me to a
place of peace beyond that which I had
attained before. This was valuable guidance
and allowed me to be very present and open
for our time together.
- Create a deck of unique cards with
personalized meaning
- Make use of your past and access your
power
- Get personal and specific insights
- Turn the tough lessons into useful
tools
- Make decisions using your own wise inner
self
DATE: Saturday, July 21st
TIME: 10AM to 5:00PM
LOCATION: Santa Rosa, CA
Register Now! $95* per person
Limited to
8 participants
*optional $15 materials packet may be ordered
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Share The Wealth |
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Who do you know who would love to read
this issue
(or a past issue)?
I
would love to get Your Authentic Life
out to
them.
So, can you help me meet my goal of 1000
subscribers
in 2007?
Thanks for all you do!
- Forward this e mail to a friend and suggest
they check out my archived articles
- Print my newsletter and post it on your
bulletin
board or in the break room at your office, barn,
gym...
- send a brief note and the link to my
web site
with your personal recommendation for an
article you
liked
I now offer phone sessions by
appointment. Sessions are available Monday
through
Thursday. I accept MasterCard and Visa as well as
checks and Paypal.
All Articles Copyrighted by Laurie Stolmaker, MA,
MFT 2005-2007
Laurie Sequana Stolmaker is
an experienced therapist and seminar leader.
She authors the monthly online newsletter,
Your Authentic Life!. If you are ready to
have more fun, rekindle your joy, and make a
life of love
and success, subscribe by going to
www.joyinside.net.
You are welcome to reprint articles in their
entirety, as long as you also include this
copyright notice.
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Contact Information
phone:
(707) 523-2033
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